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Any Man Can Have a Child, But……

Exploring the privilege of creating life and the significance of a father's presence in a child's upbringing.

I am a strong advocate that being blessed with the ability to contribute to creating new life is a true privilege. Especially when you consider the odds of getting pregnant in any given month to be 15% to 25%, which is peppered with caveats that reduce the percentage even further. Now throw in the complexities of getting pregnant, and one can begin to understand why this is a privilege and not a divine right.

This post has been inspired by a recent article I read about a dad’s role in the upbringing of his kids. The article spoke about how too many kids are growing up without a dad’s input and as a result they end up making poor life, relationship and marriage choices. Research shows the commonness and devastating effects of a dad’s absence in his kids’ lives. You do not have to look far into society to see the buzzword ‘Dad Deficit’ surfacing whenever there are issues with kids. You often hear politicians and other figures asking the question: Where were the parents, in particular the dads?

I am not keen on defined roles between NMs and NDs, I believe that both parenting roles complement each other. At a push I would say a dad’s role is one of support and of being the pillar for the family. The trade-off and relationship between NM and ND is very important. So how can I be a dad and not just a man to my kids?

  • Knowing what they’re up to and getting to know what makes them tick.
  • Listening and learning from them – child led.
  • Finding out if they are happy in home life.
  • Finding out what they enjoy in school, and what they’re struggling with.
  • Learn who their friends are; who they chill with at school and their home environment.
  • Spending one-to-one time with me away from others.
  • Teaching them to stand tall and stand up for themselves.
  • Teaching them respect.
  • Teaching them to speak up and bravely say what they believe.
  • Teaching them to stand against unfair treatment.
  • Setting an example with myself – mirror learning.
  • Teaching them the dangers of entitlement attitude.
  • Teaching them that wins come out of losing.
  • Teaching them that I make mistakes.
  • Teaching them to deal with disappointment.
  • Teaching them to enjoy the present, as it is a gift! They cannot change the past and cannot predict the future, but can enjoy the gift of the present.
  • Teaching them hard work and dedication.
  • Showing them why I married their mother.

Any man can have a child, but not every man can be a dad!

Does this apply to mum? Is there a case for:

Any Woman Can Have a Child, But…………….?


  • Fertility, website accessed 31st August 2015
  • Mom Junction, website accessed 31st August 2015
  • The UCB Word For Today, August/September/October 2015, Saturday 22nd August and Sunday 23rd August 2015.
  • UNICEF, Child poverty in perspective: An overview of child well-being in rich countries, Innocenti Report Card 7, 2007 UNICEF Innocenti Research Centre, Florence.
  • WebMD, website accessed 31st August 2015


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